Sam has 6 teeth now!!! Two more have emerged on the top - Mark noticed this morning! Looking back it seems that the weeks preceeding the teeth coming in have been crappy ones - So.... I think those bottom ones are working their way thru - that would explain his awful sleep and grumpiness lately.... we will see!
6 down.....
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
The most important pledge of all
This was written by Clinical psychologist and writer Marie Murray, its long but worth the read!
Parenting never ends: it is a lifelong undertaking. It is the most momentous venture, yet the one for which least preparation is received.
No prior training is provided unless actively undertaken or serendipity provides a chance to learn about relating to children.
Many parents hold a baby for the first time when they hold their own child. Now that is daunting: a little living creature, new, needy, utterly helpless and totally dependent. Parents looking into the dark depths of their baby's eyes are understandably overwhelmed that this human being is of their making, reliant on them and will be in a relationship with them until death do them part.
If vows are given at marriage, what a pledge is given at the birth of a child! It is more than to love, more than to cherish, more than to guide and prioritize. It is to be an appropriately integral, influential part of this person's life, all the days of that life, when needed. It is to be caring, available, advisory, forever.
If parenting was a singular skill it could be taught and it could be acquired, classes could be undertaken, data digested, books read, principles appropriated and applied. Parenting awards might be granted as one achieved the various levels of knowledge and aptitude required at each stage of the child's life.
But parenting is not like that.
While there are some immutable tenets - such as the need for gentleness, consistency, protection, boundaries, modeling, affirmation and love - each child is different and parents find themselves responding to the individuality of their children rather than to behaviorist principals.
This is because parenting is not a skill: it is a disposition that gets enacted skillfully if one knows one's child and has insight into oneself. It is not a set of techniques: it is a particular kind of presence and response to each individual child and each circumstance that arises in the parent-child relationship.
Parenting is not the implementation of regulations regardless of the child's temperament or the context of events as if one method serves all children all the time.
There is no one method; there is no one right way.There is no perfect prescription. Parenting is not about "doing". It is about "being". It is not about management. It is about relationship.
As each child is different, temperamentally, in personality, attachment and capacity to cope, parenting is about adaptation to the individuality of the child. Most parents do this intuitively, unconsciously, courageously and with a depth of insight into their own child that is not available to anyone else.
Parenting is not a way of controlling but a capacity to monitor appropriately, protect decisively, understand empathetically, listen carefully, guide judiciously, restrict benevolently, respond thoughtfully and care to the extent of human compassion and love for all of one's life as parents of a child.
That is why parenting never ends. Regardless of how grown up, financially independent, emotionally secure, personally mature or well established one's children are in their own families even as parents to your grandchildren, your child remains your child forever.
Your adult child, your middle-aged child, your child is always your child. This is a relationship that cannot be dictated. Elusive when we attempt to define it, it is special. It is unique - simultaneously holding on and letting go.
It is for life.
Parenting is a privilege, a life-long one. Enjoy it. Trust it.
Parenting never ends: it is a lifelong undertaking. It is the most momentous venture, yet the one for which least preparation is received.
No prior training is provided unless actively undertaken or serendipity provides a chance to learn about relating to children.
Many parents hold a baby for the first time when they hold their own child. Now that is daunting: a little living creature, new, needy, utterly helpless and totally dependent. Parents looking into the dark depths of their baby's eyes are understandably overwhelmed that this human being is of their making, reliant on them and will be in a relationship with them until death do them part.
If vows are given at marriage, what a pledge is given at the birth of a child! It is more than to love, more than to cherish, more than to guide and prioritize. It is to be an appropriately integral, influential part of this person's life, all the days of that life, when needed. It is to be caring, available, advisory, forever.
If parenting was a singular skill it could be taught and it could be acquired, classes could be undertaken, data digested, books read, principles appropriated and applied. Parenting awards might be granted as one achieved the various levels of knowledge and aptitude required at each stage of the child's life.
But parenting is not like that.
While there are some immutable tenets - such as the need for gentleness, consistency, protection, boundaries, modeling, affirmation and love - each child is different and parents find themselves responding to the individuality of their children rather than to behaviorist principals.
This is because parenting is not a skill: it is a disposition that gets enacted skillfully if one knows one's child and has insight into oneself. It is not a set of techniques: it is a particular kind of presence and response to each individual child and each circumstance that arises in the parent-child relationship.
Parenting is not the implementation of regulations regardless of the child's temperament or the context of events as if one method serves all children all the time.
There is no one method; there is no one right way.There is no perfect prescription. Parenting is not about "doing". It is about "being". It is not about management. It is about relationship.
As each child is different, temperamentally, in personality, attachment and capacity to cope, parenting is about adaptation to the individuality of the child. Most parents do this intuitively, unconsciously, courageously and with a depth of insight into their own child that is not available to anyone else.
Parenting is not a way of controlling but a capacity to monitor appropriately, protect decisively, understand empathetically, listen carefully, guide judiciously, restrict benevolently, respond thoughtfully and care to the extent of human compassion and love for all of one's life as parents of a child.
That is why parenting never ends. Regardless of how grown up, financially independent, emotionally secure, personally mature or well established one's children are in their own families even as parents to your grandchildren, your child remains your child forever.
Your adult child, your middle-aged child, your child is always your child. This is a relationship that cannot be dictated. Elusive when we attempt to define it, it is special. It is unique - simultaneously holding on and letting go.
It is for life.
Parenting is a privilege, a life-long one. Enjoy it. Trust it.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Things I said I would never do as a parent but have….
1) Give him used toys – The price of toys is unbelievable! The Leap frog table was $40 – the exersaucer was $100 – foam mats were $25 – the jumper was $40 – it adds up so fast! 2 words – CRAIGS LIST! Love this place! My mom and I have found great things on there! A practically brand new exersaucer for $30! Leap frog table for $15 – the foam mats $30 for 3 sets!!! I also found a consignment shop for toys and got Sam a BRAND new basketball/baseball toy that sells for $35 at Toys-R-Us – I paid $14.99! (ok so that wasn’t technically used) But I also found the Peek-A-Block giraffe there for $4.99!!!! I actually get excited when I find a great deal on stuff – the only problem is that I find stuff that he can’t use until he is 2 or 3 but I sooo want to buy it now (Step 2 up and down roller coaster for $20!!! Oh I sooo want to buy it!!!!)…. lol…. But I haven’t =) Oh and mom found a jumper on CL for $15!!!! So now we can give Lynsi back hers =)
2) Give him used clothing – again, hindsight is 20/20 right? I wanted Sammy to have brand new things but when my friend Cindy offered me about 4 overflowing tubs of clothes from her son I couldn’t resist – his teachers at Daycare always comment on how they love his clothes and I laugh because I haven’t really bought much of anything! Thanks Cindy! My sister Michelle then gave me all of Justin’s things – so now I have bins of clothes all the way up to 5T!!!! Sam is set and boy do we save some money!!!
3) Generic diapers – I have always been a brand name snob – toothpaste, cereal, lotion, you name it! Our grocery bill has gotten out of hand so a few weeks ago I bought Wegman’s brand of lucky charms – just as good as the real stuff! I bought Safeway brand cookies (the boys joked that I bought the cheap ones) and they were fine too! Anyway, I was buying Pampers for Sam and then someone on the parenting boards raved about Walgreens diapers and they were on sale buy one get one free and $2 off each pack – so each pack was $2.50 (pampers are $12 per pack) – I got 8 packs of size 3 and 8 packs of size 4 and guess what? They work great! No leaks after 12 hours (overnight) and the money I am saving is once again a bonus!!!
4) Cry it out – ugh! This one truly breaks my heart and I am happy to say Sam was about 7 months old the first time I did it (one night only) but I had to do it last night =( Sam would NOT go to sleep so I would leave for 5 mins at a time –It killed me when I went in and his nose was running and the tears were POURING down his face but I was at my wits end…. He did finally go to sleep =) Sorry Sammy… mommy loves you!
6) Nurse past a year – ok, hope this isn’t too personal for some of you – Breastfeeding was a huge struggle for me in the beginning – LOTS of tears – it was HARD! But we plowed thru and Sam and I have a great nursing relationship these days! I actually enjoy it! It’s our special bonding time and he is just so cute when he knows it’s coming – he starts rooting around for it – LOL! And when he is done he sits up and just gives me this huge smile. Anyway, in the beginning my goal was to nurse for 1 year then wean but now I think it will last longer – I have no intention of nursing him at 5yrs old – haha – but I know that in 3 short months (when he will be 1) neither of us will be ready. I will however be done with pumping –HOORAY! Now that I cannot wait for!!!!!
7) Give a pacifier – I was ANTI pacifiers! I got several at my shower…. The 2nd day home from the hospital Sam was inconsolable and Mark asked me “are you sure you don’t want to give him a pacifier??” I was like “give him one, NOW!” and guess what? He calmed down immediately! Sam loves his paci!!!! His Aunt Allison and Uncle Jeff bought him his first wub-a-nub (a frog named Kirby) and since then he has gotten a Monkey named Nelson and a Long Horn Bull named Dallas (Chad named the frog and monkey) and I picked Dallas for the Longhorn for Mark (he wanted us to have a Samuel Dallas (after his good friend) but I vetoed it – haha) – so now Sam has a paci named Dallas =) The paci has become a life saver for me =)
8) Shouted “Don’t make me come down there” – I posted about his before but I will say it again here. Usually when the boys were loud it didn’t matter but now that Sam is here of course I have become a true “mother” - I still can’t believe I said that…. I feel old! Haha
2) Give him used clothing – again, hindsight is 20/20 right? I wanted Sammy to have brand new things but when my friend Cindy offered me about 4 overflowing tubs of clothes from her son I couldn’t resist – his teachers at Daycare always comment on how they love his clothes and I laugh because I haven’t really bought much of anything! Thanks Cindy! My sister Michelle then gave me all of Justin’s things – so now I have bins of clothes all the way up to 5T!!!! Sam is set and boy do we save some money!!!
3) Generic diapers – I have always been a brand name snob – toothpaste, cereal, lotion, you name it! Our grocery bill has gotten out of hand so a few weeks ago I bought Wegman’s brand of lucky charms – just as good as the real stuff! I bought Safeway brand cookies (the boys joked that I bought the cheap ones) and they were fine too! Anyway, I was buying Pampers for Sam and then someone on the parenting boards raved about Walgreens diapers and they were on sale buy one get one free and $2 off each pack – so each pack was $2.50 (pampers are $12 per pack) – I got 8 packs of size 3 and 8 packs of size 4 and guess what? They work great! No leaks after 12 hours (overnight) and the money I am saving is once again a bonus!!!
4) Cry it out – ugh! This one truly breaks my heart and I am happy to say Sam was about 7 months old the first time I did it (one night only) but I had to do it last night =( Sam would NOT go to sleep so I would leave for 5 mins at a time –It killed me when I went in and his nose was running and the tears were POURING down his face but I was at my wits end…. He did finally go to sleep =) Sorry Sammy… mommy loves you!
5) Ignore my dog – Tami warned me about this and I didn’t listen – Piper has always been my baby and I assured everyone when Sam came along Piper would still gets lots of attention – she does not =( I totally neglect her and I hate it! The evenings are so rushed I just don’t have time – after Sam is in bed I do always take a few minutes to rub her belly and tell her how much I love her – the only thing that helps is knowing that for almost 8 years she got ALL my attention. Poor Piper – I might have to send her to Camp Grandma later this summer =) LOL
6) Nurse past a year – ok, hope this isn’t too personal for some of you – Breastfeeding was a huge struggle for me in the beginning – LOTS of tears – it was HARD! But we plowed thru and Sam and I have a great nursing relationship these days! I actually enjoy it! It’s our special bonding time and he is just so cute when he knows it’s coming – he starts rooting around for it – LOL! And when he is done he sits up and just gives me this huge smile. Anyway, in the beginning my goal was to nurse for 1 year then wean but now I think it will last longer – I have no intention of nursing him at 5yrs old – haha – but I know that in 3 short months (when he will be 1) neither of us will be ready. I will however be done with pumping –HOORAY! Now that I cannot wait for!!!!!
7) Give a pacifier – I was ANTI pacifiers! I got several at my shower…. The 2nd day home from the hospital Sam was inconsolable and Mark asked me “are you sure you don’t want to give him a pacifier??” I was like “give him one, NOW!” and guess what? He calmed down immediately! Sam loves his paci!!!! His Aunt Allison and Uncle Jeff bought him his first wub-a-nub (a frog named Kirby) and since then he has gotten a Monkey named Nelson and a Long Horn Bull named Dallas (Chad named the frog and monkey) and I picked Dallas for the Longhorn for Mark (he wanted us to have a Samuel Dallas (after his good friend) but I vetoed it – haha) – so now Sam has a paci named Dallas =) The paci has become a life saver for me =)
8) Shouted “Don’t make me come down there” – I posted about his before but I will say it again here. Usually when the boys were loud it didn’t matter but now that Sam is here of course I have become a true “mother” - I still can’t believe I said that…. I feel old! Haha
Now for a cute pic of me and Sam (kirby too) =)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Does anyone read this thing?
LOL
No one ever leaves comments.... why not? Embarrassed? Don't know what to say?? Leave me a comment, telling my why you DONT leave comments - haha - and be entered to win a gift card!
seriously..... come on!
No one ever leaves comments.... why not? Embarrassed? Don't know what to say?? Leave me a comment, telling my why you DONT leave comments - haha - and be entered to win a gift card!
seriously..... come on!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
He did it!
Sam's teacher, Miss Keira, just called.... he crawled!!! I told her a few weeks ago that unlike most parents who dont want to know these things that I wanted a phone call when Sam crawled..... I asked her if he was going after a toy or what - she said that she put Mariella on the floor and Sam crawled to her!!! LOL Sam is such a ladies man!!!
Before she hung up I told her that he better crawl for me when I pick him up... the pressure is on!
Good Job Sam!
To be fair to his cousin Hailey (who is crawling on all 4's) Sam is only army crawling - lol - still very cute but not 100% the "real" thing.
Before she hung up I told her that he better crawl for me when I pick him up... the pressure is on!
Good Job Sam!
To be fair to his cousin Hailey (who is crawling on all 4's) Sam is only army crawling - lol - still very cute but not 100% the "real" thing.
Monday, June 22, 2009
I am my mother.....
I was talking to a girl at work today about our weekends and I was telling her the boys had some friends over Saturday night and I had just gotten Sam down and they were being really loud.... I opened up the basement door and I yelled "If I have to come down there your gonna be in trouble!"
omg..... I am old..... I cannot believe I said that......... I am officially my mother =) hahahah
love you mom!
omg..... I am old..... I cannot believe I said that......... I am officially my mother =) hahahah
love you mom!
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